I was recently honoured to be a featured speaker at a One Woman Fearless Summit (learn more about this incredible social enterprise below).
It was a wonderful opportunity for me, with so many lessons reaffirmed: the power of pushing through my fears and stretching outside of my comfort zone; the essential roles others play in supporting and celebrating my dreams; the power of stories to heal and inspire change; and the difference that one woman can make in the world simply by being herself and sharing herself and her gifts.
Most importantly, I was thrilled to share my message about emotional empowerment and specifically how to leverage Fear (and ALL of your emotions) for inner power and outer progress toward your dreams.
Today I want to share the first tip that I gave in my talk, and probably the top tip I have to share overall when it comes to emotional wellness . . .
The only way around your emotions is through them.
When it comes to dealing with our emotions, most of us want to skip this part and get on with the good stuff of making plans and taking action. We flee, freeze, faint, fidget or fight our emotions – instead of just feeling them – so they get stuck in us. We drag them around, like an emotional backpack with our unprocessed emotions busting out of the pockets and pouches. The only way to keep from dragging around this emotional baggage for the rest of our lives is to face our emotions. We can’t just skip over the “negative” feelings, trying only to focus on the “positive” ones.
What we want to do is to fully experience our feelings – including the thoughts and beliefs attached. And I’ve created a simple (and very original :)) acronym that describes exactly how to do this so that you can deal with your present emotions, and any that you may be hauling around from the past, to then be free to get on with the really good stuff.
F – Feel Your Emotions:
Experience your feelings fully. You can talk to trusted friends or journal to get the stories and emotions out of you. You can move your body to help release emotions or tensions. You can express yourself creatively, through music, art or craft to process emotions in a powerful subconscious way. And you can cry or laugh, as there’s healing power in allowing your emotions to flow.
E – Explore the Messages:
To decode the general messages of your emotions, from a non-judgemental place of curiosity, ask your emotions questions like: “What are you trying to tell me? Where did you come from? How long have you been with me? What have I learned about what it means to feel you?”
You can also decode specific messages of your feelings, as each feeling is uniquely designed to show you the way through. For instance, sadness shows us how to grieve lost potential. Fear shows us what we want and what action to take. Anger tells us boundaries have been crossed. Courage signals that our True Self is coming to light. And joy celebrates the awe and delight of life.
E – Embrace the Messages:
Now that you’ve heard what your emotions are trying to tell you, take action on what you’ve learned. So if your shame or anger have shown you that your boundaries are being crossed, what’s the one next step you can take to reinforce your boundaries? Or if your desires have come to light, what’s the next step you can take to make them happen? By acting on what you’ve learned, not only do you move through the emotion but you lessen the chance of the problem arising again in the future.
L – Let it Be:
The truth is, we’re not actually trying to be rid of any of our feelings. We don’t have to block them, change them, avoid them or even let them go. We just want to let them do the job their designed to do, and then set them aside for future reference. For example, we wouldn’t want to be fear-less, as fear plays an essential role in our lives, but maybe we want to learn what fear has to share, then set it aside until we need to consult with it again.
So the next time you experience a heavy emotion, try to F.E.E.L. it. Because the only way around it is through it.
Or better yet, talk with me on my free Clarity Call so that you can get clear on how you want to feel, what emotional blocks may be keeping you from your dreams and what your next best steps are to proceed. Book a call here or reply to this email to arrange an alternate time.
To FEELing forward!
P.S. One Woman is a global social enterprise on a mission to help women and girls around the globe live their dreams and reach their full potential through education and entrepreneurship. As a proud business member of this organization, my contribution supports projects around the world that will help women become entrepreneurs, have access to education or create a better quality of life. When women around the world are united, we will make a difference, one woman at a time.