Post ID 790

Posted by on May 14, 2020

“She decided to trust what she felt, to know what she knew, and to dare to imagine an unseen order where she might be free.” Glennon Doyle

Like so many others, I recently enjoyed Glennon Doyle’s latest book, “Untamed”. This was the first book of hers that I’ve read, and the promise of women’s empowerment drew me in. 

Part memoir and part personal growth book, she offers honest highlights from her recent life and helps readers share in her lessons learned. I was hooked from her prologue, ‘Cheetah’, which also cued her anecdotal and metaphorical writing style. This opening also introduced the powerful message of her book – the importance of accessing and trusting ourselves.

I cannot emulate her words, which I encourage you to read for yourself. Instead, I’ll share just a small part of her work to give you a sneak peek of her wisdom and inspire you to apply her advice to your own life, as I have done to mine with great success. 

4 Keys to Freedom

My favourite is ‘part 2’ of her book, where she shares her 4 keys to freedom. It especially rang true for me because it’s a similar approach to how I help women make, trust and follow through on decisions. 

Here’s a brief summary of how your emotions, intuition, imagination and courage – that you may have learned to hide to keep others comfortable – will help you return to who you are.

1) Feel It All – “Feelings are for Feeling”.

Feel everything, especially the painful emotions, rather than distracting or numbing from them. You can be free from the fear of feeling pain, if not from the pain itself. You can become the woman you’re meant to be next by venturing into the feelings you have now. 

2) Be Still and Know – “If you just stop doing, you’ll start knowing.”

Instead of looking to everyone and everything else for answers, look within yourself. Ask yourself the big questions in life, go within to where your Self, wisdom, intuition or God lives and await the subtle nudge toward your next right action. The more consistently, bravely and precisely you follow your ‘Knowing’, the more beautiful your life becomes. 

3) Dare to Imagine – “Perhaps imagination is not where we go to escape reality, but where we go to remember it.”

You must first imagine on the inside what you wish to create on the outside. If you feel discontent, it’s your imagination trying to get your attention by whispering ‘not this but that instead’. To honour your dreams, write them out for yourself answering: What is the truest, most beautiful story about my life that I could imagine?

4) Let It Burn – “We must be committed to holding on to nothing but the truth.”

If you want to create something new for yourself, you must be willing to release what is no longer true for you. It may feel ‘safer’ or ‘good enough’ to stay as you are, but you would lose everything that was meant to be and you are worth more than that. In doing so, you will be full of what is true for you in this moment – neither right nor wrong – and you can revise that with what’s more beautiful for you until infinity.

Which of these 4 keys will you practice to move closer to your most free and authentic life?

Freedom in Relationships

So what could this look like when practically applied? Yes, you can use these steps in all areas of your life. Let’s use the example of a challenging personal relationship that you’re not sure how to handle. 

  • Allow yourself to feel (express and release) your emotions about the relationship, whether you’re feeling sad, worried, guilty, angry or even loving.
  • Be still with yourself, go inward to that place within you where your true Self resides and await the nudge about your next step.
  • Imagine or write out your story about what the truest, most beautiful (not necessarily easiest or happiest) version of this relationship would be. Use this to inform your actions.
  • Begin to release what is no longer helpful to you in the relationship. Let go of the ‘could have beens’ to make space for the healthier version of the relationship. 

This works beyond relationships too. I’ve practiced all four keys to successfully navigate a stressful decision about where to live, and can assure you it works. It was a bonus to learn that I could follow this process myself, and my husband (the other person involved in the decision) could follow his own process, and together we came to a great resolution. 

So until you have a chance to read ‘Untamed’ if I’ve inspired you to do so, keep Glennon’s words at hand to help you be brave enough to set yourself free . . . 

“Breathe. Don’t panic and flee. Sink. Feel it all. Be still. Imagine. Let it Burn.”

Post ID 781

Posted by on May 8, 2020

“Honour the space between no longer and not yet.” Nancy Levin

Yes, we have all been through much change over the past two months. I wonder if any of your personal relationships have also changed?

And how are you handling the transition that goes along with the change? 

If you’re not sure what I mean, here’s a quick recap of William Bridges’ transition theory.

A change is the external event or situation – positive or negative – that is largely practical. For example, a change could include the tangibles of welcoming a new friend or baby to your life, or saying goodbye to someone who is no longer your friend or is moving away.

A transition is your internal experience of the change – emotional and mental – that is a gradual process of adjustment. So, the intangible transition of moving through the psychological part of handling the new arrival or the departure of someone from your life.

If you find yourself stuck in a relationship, it could be that you haven’t moved through one of the ‘3 Stages of Transition’ in their natural order:

  • The Ending – You enter a change here, and identify what you are losing and how to manage these losses. Think of it like a storm’s arrival.
  • The Neutral Zone – The bridging between old and new, you are in the confusing and murky middle of change. This is like the foggy calm after the storm.
  • The New Beginning – The final stage where you accept the new normal with renewed energy and start to experience wins in your new direction. Here the sun, or even a rainbow, are visible through the parting clouds. 

Considering a personal relationship of yours that is currently changing, what stage are you in? 

If you find you’re not steadily moving through that stage of transition, here are some suggestions to help you gain some momentum with your relationship transition: 

1. If you’re stuck in your relationship’s ending (or ending in the sense that it will be different going forward than what it was before), do your grief work. Both ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ relationship changes involve some element of letting go: of who you were, of what was, or of what never will become. Allow yourself the space to feel and release your sorrow.

2. If you’re lost in your relationship’s neutral zone, address your fears, doubts and resistance. This period can feel very uncomfortable as you may sometimes want to go back to how things were, but you also know that you must move forward. Resist the urge to fill this emptiness to avoid the temporary discomfort. Learn new perspectives or resources, from trustworthy sources and people, to address your limits and worries.

3. If you’re caught in the new beginning, spark up your desires. You’re starting to become more clear on who you are and how you are in relationships. Bravely dream up the best possible outcomes for yourself and pursue what feels right for you. Take small steps, and try small things, as you increase your confidence in your new identity and reality.

From here, I’m confident you’ll notice some momentum through your changing relationship. Reach out to may any time for further clarification. Together we’ll catch a glimpse of your fair weather relationship forecast.

Post ID 747

Posted by on April 22, 2020

“In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous.” Aristotle

I celebrate Earth Day today as I do every year – by going outside and being in nature. Pretty simple I know, but I also know the best way to appreciate this earth is to get out there and engage with it on a personal level. And of course this applies any day of the year.

Before I headed out this morning, I noted it’s also a new moon today, so I infused my new moon practice with my Earth Day clebration and voila! Enjoy this walking practice to discover something new about your current desires.

How to Walk with Desire

1) Before you set out, take note of how you’re feeling, in general and about the walk. Aside from being present and enjoying your time outside, you’ll be learning something about what you currently desire. Keep track in a journal if you’re into that sort of thing like I am.

2) During your walk, just get out there and have fun. Be as present as you can be to the sights and sounds of this beautiful earth. While you’re out, take note of something that catches your attention; that causes you to pause and take a second look; or that is cool or special to you. 

3) When you return, note again how you’re feeling, in general and about the walk. Has anything changed since the start of your walk? Also, what was the special thing you noticed? Describe what it was about the thing you noticed that captured your attention. Now how can you apply that understanding to the thing you desire?

For example, my son wanted to come on my walk with me which was a rare offer, so I gladly welcomed him. While I did notice some interesting sites en route, it turned out that the biggest thing I noticed was more about how the walk went down.  Whereas I wanted to go on a nice easy stroll along the trail, my son wanted us to blaze our own trail through the bush, over the rock and into the beaver pond. 

I admit it was a nice change that I wouldn’t have pursued if he wasn’t there. It got me out of my routine to do the unexpected, explore and discover new things. So I can now apply that to my current desires (or new moon intention if you prefer). As I pursue my current desire this month, I will keep in mind that ideally it will help me “get out of my routine, do the unexpected, explore and discover new things”. And that sounds just about right to me.

On this 50th anniversary of Earth Day, whether or not you try this walk, may you notice nature’s beauty, magic and marvelousness – and how it reflects and nurtures the same in you!

Posted in: Adventure, Dreams, Nature
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