Post ID 559

Posted by on February 23, 2018

I was recently honoured to be a featured speaker at a One Woman Fearless Summit (learn more about this incredible social enterprise below).

It was a wonderful opportunity for me, with so many lessons reaffirmed: the power of pushing through my fears and stretching outside of my comfort zone; the essential roles others play in supporting and celebrating my dreams; the power of stories to heal and inspire change; and the difference that one woman can make in the world simply by being herself and sharing herself and her gifts.

Most importantly, I was thrilled to share my message about emotional empowerment and specifically how to leverage Fear (and ALL of your emotions) for inner power and outer progress toward your dreams. 

Today I want to share the first tip that I gave in my talk, and probably the top tip I have to share overall when it comes to emotional wellness . . .

The only way around your emotions is through them.

When it comes to dealing with our emotions, most of us want to skip this part and get on with the good stuff of making plans and taking action. We flee, freeze, faint, fidget or fight our emotions – instead of just feeling them – so they get stuck in us. We drag them around, like an emotional backpack with our unprocessed emotions busting out of the pockets and pouches. The only way to keep from dragging around this emotional baggage for the rest of our lives is to face our emotions.  We can’t just skip over the “negative” feelings, trying only to focus on the “positive” ones.

What we want to do is to fully experience our feelings – including the thoughts and beliefs attached.  And I’ve created a simple (and very original :)) acronym that describes exactly how to do this so that you can deal with your present emotions, and any that you may be hauling around from the past, to then be free to get on with the really good stuff.

F – Feel Your Emotions:
Experience your feelings fully. You can talk to trusted friends or journal to get the stories and emotions out of you. You can move your body to help release emotions or tensions. You can express yourself creatively, through music, art or craft to process emotions in a powerful subconscious way. And you can cry or laugh, as there’s healing power in allowing your emotions to flow.

E – Explore the Messages:
To decode the general messages of your emotions, from a non-judgemental place of curiosity, ask your emotions questions like: “What are you trying to tell me? Where did you come from? How long have you been with me? What have I learned about what it means to feel you?”

You can also decode specific messages of your feelings, as each feeling is uniquely designed to show you the way through. For instance, sadness shows us how to grieve lost potential. Fear shows us what we want and what action to take. Anger tells us boundaries have been crossed. Courage signals that our True Self is coming to light. And joy celebrates the awe and delight of life.

E – Embrace the Messages:
Now that you’ve heard what your emotions are trying to tell you, take action on what you’ve learned.  So if your shame or anger have shown you that your boundaries are being crossed, what’s the one next step you can take to reinforce your boundaries? Or if your desires have come to light, what’s the next step you can take to make them happen? By acting on what you’ve learned, not only do you move through the emotion but you lessen the chance of the problem arising again in the future.

L – Let it Be:
The truth is, we’re not actually trying to be rid of any of our feelings. We don’t have to block them, change them, avoid them or even let them go. We just want to let them do the job their designed to do, and then set them aside for future reference. For example, we wouldn’t want to be fear-less, as fear plays an essential role in our lives, but maybe we want to learn what fear has to share, then set it aside until we need to consult with it again.

So the next time you experience a heavy emotion, try to F.E.E.L. it. Because the only way around it is through it.

Or better yet, talk with me on my free Clarity Call so that you can get clear on how you want to feel, what emotional blocks may be keeping you from your dreams and what your next best steps are to proceed. Book a call here or reply to this email to arrange an alternate time.

To FEELing forward!
Nicole

P.S. One Woman is a global social enterprise on a mission to help women and girls around the globe live their dreams and reach their full potential through education and entrepreneurship. As a proud business member of this organization, my contribution supports projects around the world that will help women become entrepreneurs, have access to education or create a better quality of life. When women around the world are united, we will make a difference, one woman at a time.

Posted in: Heart

Post ID 562

Posted by on February 16, 2018

I don’t know about you, but my February has been a whirlwind and I’m so looking forward to this weekend, and the Family Day holiday on Monday, to rest, refresh and regroup. And this has reminded me of a favourite self-care practice that I thought you’d like to try for yourself.

As much as I think it’s essential to have dreams and desires to strive for, I think it’s equally important to enjoy those things that you want most tomorrow, as part of your daily life today. 

Rather than wait until “some day”, how can you experience what you really want in life – now?

So to give yourself exactly what you need for a little self-care this weekend, follow these 3 simple steps to enjoy your desires today . . .

1) Think about what you wish to experience in the future – your hopes, dreams and desires. Or keep it simple, and think about what you want to experience or feel this weekend. “I want . . . “

2) Consider where you already have that experience or feeling in your life, or where you have enjoyed it in the past. “I already have this experience when I . . .”

3) Find ways to enhance these experiences in your life today. Start enjoying more of these things now. “I will . . .”

Bonus tip: You don’t even have to have this all planned out. By simply knowing your desired experience or feeling, you can make choices moment to moment about whether an action will allow you to experience your desire or not.

It’s a simple practice, and it works. It’s a great way to focus on what you want, and to take a little break from working through what you don’t want. It reminds you of what’s working for you in your life and all that you have to be grateful for. It makes your dreams seem that much more attainable and you may realized you’re much closer to reaching your goals that you realized. You may even notice that what you want seems to be “magically” appearing before your eyes, as if by serendipity.

So for example, this weekend I want to have lots of fun! I feel like I need a change of scenery and to focus on my family and non-work related activities. I already have fun when I’m playing with my kids, enjoying a movie night, hanging out with friends and am active outside. Therefore, I will get out with and host some friends, reconnect with my husband, splurge on a few days of skiing, visit with my in-laws and unwind and regroup for the week ahead. And you can bet I’ll be open to random opportunities for fun! (Like watching the bald eagle that’s sitting on the ice out front of my house right now – not kidding, I just looked up and saw it – and then checking out “eagle symbolism”, which I like to do for fun.)

Whatever your mood or desires may be, you’ll discover this practice is a great way to tap into the kind of self-care that you need most. So if you crave quiet, how can you experience more of that? Maybe you want to be productive, so how can you amp up your productive energy? Or maybe you want more love in your life, so you’ll tune into the love you already experience and be open to even more. That’s what I was doing on Valentine’s Day, and a few of the things I found are in the photos below.

If you’d love to connect with me about experiencing even more of what you want in your life, just request a free Clarity Call with me.

So, what do you want to feel this weekend, when have you experienced this in the past, and how will you enjoy it today?

Have fun!
Nicole

Posted in: Freedom

Post ID 597

Posted by on December 1, 2017

‘Tis the season when hustle and bustle meet peace, joy and light.

I see you there, about to (or maybe well on your way to) taking care of everyone and everything else this holiday season. So while you’re focused on that, I want you to know that I’m here to help you take care of your own personal wellness this holiday season and always.

Today I have 3 simple questions for you to ask yourself so that you start the holidays from a place of taking care of you while you’re taking care of Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, New Year’s or whatever other celebration is on your heart. In fact, use these 3 questions whenever you’re beginning something new.

To get to where you want to go, start with who you are. 

To enjoy a holiday of your dreams, begin by knowing who you truly are. Grounded in this wisdom about yourself, you can then make aligned choices and plans that matter the most to you and your loved ones and that feel the most fulfilling, fun and freeing.  Skip this step, and you may find yourself on autopilot, spending your time, money and energy on things that you think you could, should or ought to be doing, but instead they leave you feeling overwhelmed, underwhelmed or disheartened.

So here are those 3 questions that will help keep you rooted in who you are so you can plan for what you want  for a happier holiday . . .

1) How do you want to feel? Start with heart! Use all of your senses to ponder how you most desire to feel this holiday. Meet yourself exactly where you are. Whether you’re gearing up for a month of connection and celebration, or for one of solitude and just making it through, honour your emotions.

For example, I want to feel . . . a meaningful and fun connection with my loved ones and my “something greater”; present and aware of the moments of wonder; my compassion and light inspiring my children; accepting of inevitable holiday hurdles; like I’ve made a difference for others; and grateful for my many blessings. How about you? 

2) What are your values? Next, check in on the principles that matter most to you. Some of your values remain consistent through life, while others come and go. It’s a worthy practice to occasionally check in on what’s most important to you in your current season of life.

Not sure off-hand what your values are? Simply google “personal core values” for endless words. Which 3 are the most important to you in this season of life? 

3) How’s your energy level? Your body is a truthful barometer. It will tell you what’s best for you through your energy level. Ideally you want to maximize the perspectives, approaches and activities that make you feel energized and minimize those that make you feel drained.

Make two lists: Energizing to track which activities, people, scenarios, schedules, traditions, etc. leave you feeling the most at home, alive and light; and Draining to track which leave you feeling the most uncomfortable, depleted and heavy.  What common themes emerge from your Energizing list? From your Draining list? 

Answering these 3 questions to understand your desired feelings, values, and energizers is a wonderful way to put yourself, your wants and your needs at the heart of your plans – holiday and otherwise – and makes for a happier holiday for yourself and everyone around you.

And speaking of the others in your life, if you have a partner or a family you could make make this into a fun holiday activity where you each answer these questions and discover your holiday intentions together.

Either way, I’d love to hear what you discover!

Happy Holidays!
Nicole

p.s. While writing this message, I thought of a new idea for a holiday freebie to help you with your holiday planning. I’ll share it with you as soon as I can.

Posted in: Renewal
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